keep riding…

When an intense emotion comes out of “nowhere” .. you know that feeling, in your throat… the sadness comes, the tears feel stuck in your throat… for some reason you can’t let them free, you know you’re not supposed to cry, cause after all… you shouldn’t feel the sadness …

Take a deep breath… or a slow breath … and allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to feel the sadness. It’s an emotion, a natural one. Feel the sadness, allow yourself to feel it.

GG-Round-3-sadness-house-md-fans-7125614-1280-800The world will not end cause you’re sad. Everyone feels sadness (well, at least those that allow themselves to feel it) It’s just an emotion, ride it. Don’t hide it, don’t push it away, ride the feeling…


Mindfulness Skills

Core Mindfulness Skills—WHAT Skills

Take hold of your mind


  • Be curious about what you feel.
  • Just notice how you feel, without trying to make feelings stronger, or weaker, go away, or last longer.
  • See how long your feeling lasts, and if it changes.
  • Notice how feelings flow in and out of your body like waves.
  • What comes through your senses? Touch, smell, sight, sound, taste.
  • Be like a non-stick pan, letting things slide off of your body and your emotions.


  • Use words to describe your experience.
  • Use “fact” words, call a thought “just a thought”, call a feeling “just a feeling.”
  • Use words that everyone would agree with.
  • Don’t paint a colorful picture with words, or magnify a situation with words. Try to avoid emotional words.
  • Try to let go of your emotions about being “right” or about someone else being “wrong” while searching for words to describe.


    Get “lost” in an activity.
    Let go of your sense of time while you are doing something. ♦ Allow yourself to be natural in the situation.
    Practice your skills until they become a part of you.

Core Mindfulness–HOW Skills 

Non-Judgmental Stance

  • SEE, BUT DON’T EVALUATE. Take a non-judgmental stance. Just the facts. Focus on the “what”, not the “good” or “bad”, the “terrible”, the “should” or “should not”.
  • UNGLUE YOUR OPINIONS from the facts, from the “who, what, when, and where.
  • ACCEPT each moment, each event as a blanket spread out on the lawn accepts both the rain and the sun, each leaf that falls upon it.
  • ACKNOWLEDGE the helpful, the wholesome, but don’t judge it. Acknowledge the harmful, the unwholesome, but don’t judge it.
  • When you find yourself judging, DON’T JUDGE YOUR JUDGING.

One Mindfully in the Moment

  • DO ONE THING AT A TIME. When you are eating, eat. When you are walking, walk. When you are working, work. When you are in a group, or a conversation, focus your attention on the very moment you are in with the other person. Do each thing with all of your attention.
  • If other actions, thoughts, or strong feelings distract you, LET GO OF DISTRACTIONS and go back to what you are doing—again, and again, and again.
  • CONCENTRATE YOUR MIND. If you find you are doing two things at once,


stop and go back to one thing at a time.


♦ FOCUS ON WHAT WORKS. Do what needs to be done in each situation in order to meet your larger goals. Stay away from thoughts of “right”, “wrong”, “should”, “should not”, “fair” and “unfair”.

♦ PLAY BY THE RULES. Act as skillfully as you can, meeting the needs of the situation you are in, not the situation you WISH you were in.

♦ LET GO of vengeance, useless anger, and righteousness that hurts you and doesn’t work.

find out more here:

DBT Skills handbook

The wind whistles
in the bamboo
and the bamboo dances.

When the wind stops, the bamboo grows still.

A silver bird
flies over the autumn lake.

When it has passed,
the lake’s surface does not try
to hold on to the image of the bird.

Vietnamese Dhyana Master Huong Hai

DBT Skills training manual:

Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up

Great resource!

“Back From The Edge” Documentary


Created by the Borderline Personality Disorder Resource Center at New York-Presbyterian. With Dr. Marsha Linehan, creator of DBT, the most effective treatment for BPD.

View original post

The “what” skills

The “what skills” help us know what to donotice-name-it-examples

  • observe
    • just look
    • don’t use words
    • let your thoughts just be
    • use and notice your senses
  • describe
    • this is what I see
    • use words / label to simply describe exactly what it is you see / notice
    • just the facts
  • participate
    • be part of it
    • be with what is happening
    • flow / ride




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