Saturday thoughts 


sunny…. The boys want to ser the girls (ex-h’s new g/f)…they happen to be at my old house..and they kindly invited us over (ironic isn’t it, given that since I haven’t gotten the $$that’s still MY house) and ex/h isn’t in town…..so definitely ironic that she invited me and the boys over to our house…..

Can’t help feeling angry? Or is it fear? Breathe….where do I feel it?  My stomach….so I guess that’s fear then…..fear in general or fear that I would snap and get angry? I feel….damn it what am I feeling??? I’m getting a headache from whatever I am feeling because I don’t know what it is 

Yesterday a good friend told me, or rather reminded me that if we avoid a trigger we enforce the anxiety towards it….so, maybe I need to spend time with the ex’gf so I can work on the damn anxiety…

So if the woman and her 3 girls are a trigger for me, avoiding them will not solve my anxiety or anger, right? 

My plans for today were spending time with the boys and working on myself and the DBT challenges I’ve not completed…..

But life throws stuff at you and you must deal and adjust….. So I guess today I am going to work on this specific trigger and try to practice “loving-kindness”…. Urg…so not what I had in mind…..but it’s a teachable moment……

So….loving-kindness it is  

 

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