this is where i stand

so the situation is really fcked up with Friendlover .. who apparently loves me (why else would he stick around for so many months on end…)  and I love him (no surprise since I wrote about it here on the blog) … YET … he’s hyper vigilant to everything that I do wrong, every single fucking outburst I have he’s there to remind me and to POINT IT OUT that i’ve treated him badly and made him feel miserable… and that’s not enough, because even if he walks away he’ll come back to make sure I UNDERSTAND how I made him feel..

It’s pure behaviourism: negative re-inforcement  PLUS punishments… yeah punishments.. punishments for behaving the way I do… I don’t get positive feedback when I behave well, but negative, lots and lots of it… yeah he doesn’t scream at me like my mom does but she’s also a professional at pointing out EVERY SINGLE bad or wrong thing I do… seriously I’m fucked up, I’m broken, I’m stupid, I’m nothing, I can’t do anything right, everything I do I mess up…. so why would anyone want me in their lives???????????


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Lunna Raven
    Sep 15, 2015 @ 10:32:26

    I could be wrong, but that seems to me like an abusive relationship.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


Free BPD support service for families – Central Western Daily

via Free Borderline Personality Disorder support service for families | Central Western Daily

Back from the brink: Eastern Iowa man leading global mental health initiative

via Back from the brink: Eastern Iowa man leading global mental health initiative

What I Said When Asked Why I Write About Having Borderline – The Mighty

via What I Said When Asked Why I Write About Having Borderline | The Mighty

Recent Posts: DBT Peer Connections

Respecting Emotion & Regulating Emotion: An Introduction to Checking the Facts

Emotions are like a sixth sense because like sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell, they give us important information about our environment that we need to survive. What makes emotions so special is that they help us to act quickly when logical thought is too slow for us to engage in problem-solving. (See Situations below.) However, for people who may be unusually emotionally reactive, sensitive, or have learned to judge or invalidate their emotional sixth sense from culture, values, gender roles, parents, family, loved ones, etc., emotions may not always cause the expected effective response. Therefore, dialectical behavior therapy came up with the skill checking the facts to help us figure out if our emotional responses fit the facts and intensity of a situation and whether an unwanted or distressing emotion needs skills toward accepting and changing or skills toward accepting and tolerating.

Consultation Team Agreements for DBT Peer Support Specialists

Adapted from the Linehan Board of Certification by Rachel Cara Gill For DBT Peer Connections Facebook Group Administrators Consultation Team All DBT Connections Facebook Group Administrators are required to complete the FREE DBT Skills Training E-course prior to joining the consultation team Request to join DBT Peer Connections Facebook Skills Support Group as a general […]

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 869 other followers

Follow Borderline & PMDD on


Blog Stats

  • 17,722 hits


%d bloggers like this: