“You need to handle that shit” 


of course I do, who else is going to hsndle my shit? How many times have I heard that phrase!? 

I know I am the problem there is no need to point it out over and over again. I need to handle that shit… How easy…isn’t it!

The were all waiting for me handle my shit… Yet I guess I’m still struggling with handling my shit

Beautiful…maybe one day I’ll be better and I can analyze my blog posts based on the language I use… Clearly foul language denotes “beautiful” emotions and quite possibly PMDD….I absolutely loooooove my PMDD what the fuck would I do without it? I mean seriously a month without PMDD…how boring would that be?!

I would be “normal”…well BPD normal…or “ab”normal…what would life be like if I behaved consistently? If I managed to stick to emotions at a “normal” level? If I managed I don’t know, to be like other people…what the fuck are other people like?! The experience emotions at a neutral level and just acknowledge them and let them go? Do they know how to express them when they have to? Be them positive or negative? Do they know how to clearly state their needs and wants? Is that what “others” do? How is that?

What is it that’s bugging me?….I don’t know how to say what I want… I guess I’m always afraid of being rejected……omg and so what if I was rejected? Who cares? Why would anyone and why would I? Big freaking deal that I would be rejected 

It’s quite simple I guess….being close is overrated…. I should just stop wanting it. After all technically we already are all inter-connected so I don’t need to want it….I am just as connected toanyone who is reading this as to anyone and everyone else….so why should I want to feel close to him? 

I know my PMDD screws with me…but this time I don’t hate him…i just feel rejected…oh well that’s life 

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