31 DAYS OF BPD: DAY 17: WHAT ARE FIVE OF YOUR BIGGEST FEARS?


Apparently thinking about  my biggest fears is one of my fears…but since it’s taking me so long to do this 31 day challenge it’s quite clear even to me that one of my biggest fears is finishing.. yeah I’m afraid of ends… and I guess I’m taking my time working through the challenge because of that

That’s one…. let’s see… I’m quite scared of actually going following through on my suicidal thoughts one day (although working through my BPD is going to work on that fear too)

I’m also incredibly scared of screwing up my kids…. seriously… I try to so hard to at least give them a validating environment … but I don’t know if it’s “normal” like because I’m a parent fear of what.. but yeah I’m definitely scared of screwing them up..

I think that’s about it…. I have normal fears that I know how to handle, like heights or mice, which I’m treated myself and have the skills to get through them…

Maybe… now that I’m writing.. I guess along with the fear of screwing the kids up, I’m quite afraid of me screwing up big time …. but again… I’m doing this.. I’m working towards a life worth living, I’m taking small steps, but I’m taking them, and I’m not going to give up…

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