31 DAYS OF BPD: DAY 12: WHAT’S YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY?


This is a hard one….

my relationship with my mom for example can be extremely fantastic and in the same time, or same day it can turn sour… like really bad.. but it’s always been like this… I am always afraid of expressing my feelings because she tends to minimise them a lot.. and I always have to have some sort of really good explanation for what I choose to do.. It’s very “bipolar” my relationship with her.. I mean she’s a person that I know I can tell anything (if I catch her in a good mood) I mean anything… there’s stuff that only she knows about me… so there are times when she provides that safe place I need… but also.. I’m always afraid (based on experience) that she will use it against me…

my sister (who’s also following me on this blog) is a very sweet person that still hopes that we can all just get along. We’ve had our ups and downs but we are close and we’ll always be there for each other (I love you sis)

my dad & I had a good relationship till my parents got divorced.. I’ve tried a few times to reconnect and so did he, but it doesn’t work..

maybe, as I go through this process of defining myself and getting through the BPD and over it (or at least work through it) I will be able (at least from my end) to re-connect and have a better relationship with my native family..

I realise that it’s definitely genetics that got me here (not saying I inherited, as that’s not what the research says per se… but that I was just one of those lucky bastards that got the short end of the allele and the high emotional reactivity…) and that the invalidating environment “helped” a bit.. but I also realise that only I can get myself out, I need to work on myself and re-learn how to deal with emotions, how to connect with people and trust, how to have good interpersonal relationships (including with my family)

my kids… I would have to say that in this area I’m doing probably the best.. (not saying it’s perfect) but I at least am quite capable most of the time to offer the validating environment for them…

I’m sure that, as I get better with the skills, all relationships will be better & they will flourish 🙂

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