What does emptiness feel like? … a void, a big void in your throat… a big void in your stomach.. it’s thinking that the world would be a better place w/o you..

It’s the feeling you get when the emotions over-take you, when the tears gets stuck or your head feels like it’s about to explode

it’s the feeling you get when you think you’re about to be abandoned.. the feeling you get when you think you’ve f*cked up again..

it’s the way you feel when you’re alone, with your thoughts and you realise that you’re a fraud, that you don’t even know who you are, what you like, that you’ve just fooled everyone believing you’re such a wonderful person

it’s the way you feel when you think that you’re not actually good at anything, that you’ve just faked everything

yeah… yeah… black and white thinking.. so characteristic of BPD.. (will write more on that later 🙂

how do you fill the emptiness? … well.. food, lots of food, smoking or drinking, sex, self-harm… how else can you fill the void?

… i guess one way, yet again, would be to stop and focus, take a step back and try to figure out what the emotion actually is.. there may be fear, definitely fear.. just stay with it, it won’t kill you, let it arise, acknowledge it, observe it… like a wave, and then let it break .. or flow away… don’t get attached to it by judging it (like oh my god i’m so scared and this is terrible) don’t get attached to it by judging your judging (yeah, that happens) … and let it go

here’s how another BPD describes it http://savingmommy.net/2014/10/05/what-does-emptiness-feel-like/


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  1. Trackback: 31 DAYS OF BPD: DAY 6: HOW’S YOUR LOVE LIFE? | Borderline & PMDD

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