and while we’re on the topic of anger…..

i hate myself after I scream at my kids… I hate it that I cannot control my anger …

although it’s not always.. There are days when I’m tired, say I didn’t sleep well or not enough, then I get angry a lot easier.. so it wouldn’t be fair to say that I’m always angry at them.. but nonetheless I feel so guilty afterwards..

I do apologise and tell them that I was angry.. but I still feel like a shitty parent when I do it..

Something interesting happened the other week.. we were in a store and the little one kept going round and round looking for something.. not sure what, but he was determined to find it.. I kept breathing and thinking to myself that it’s ok, he has the right to find what he’s looking for, he’s not doing this on purpose to annoy me…

So I am asking him again, very nicely, and calmly what it was he was looking for.. he was just going round and round … I was about to lose it.. but I breathed..

And then the magic happened.. the older one told me “mom you did such a good job controlling your emotions” .. I almost melted…

So yeah, there are those moments when I lose it… but I’m human after all… I think that as far as parenting is concerned I’m doing a good job, most of the time …

So … anger anger go away mommy needs a sane day 🙂

I will figure it out.. I will practice breathing, focusing on the moment, learn to recognise my emotions .. and eventually will figure out how to regulate them too…

** good read on anger here:


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